Rage & Resentment

Something I haven’t really written about before even though it’s been there for over a year. Resentment creeps up at least once a month, usually around my period (as it is right now). When I feel resentment, rage comes quickly after: rage about all the emotional work I’ve put in, unnoticed. Rage about the sacrifices I’ve made, taken for granted. Rage about the connection I’ve worked hard to maintain; rage about the lack of curiosity; rage about the scenarios I’ve made up in my head. Strong temporal correlation between realizing my worth and taking less and less shit. Ugh. Just a bad state of mind I’m in right now. But still, some warning signs similar to those of previous relationships: reluctance to introduce to friends, lack of intellectual connection, growing presence of an ick. Knowing also that it passes, has passed, will pass. But some resentment there unresolved, possibly needing to be brought to the surface. Probably not after 4 pints though.